Unfollow Chocolate Milk

In what I thought was a cruel April fool’s joke, I was inundated with tweets regarding Craig Alexander’s deal to endorse Chocolate Milk. Given my history battling the evil chocolate empire, I would have been less disappointed if Crowie decided to produce snuff films or run a puppy mill. That said, he has got to make a living, and I’m sure the money was right. The brother’s got to stack that cheese right now before he’s Dave Scott. I get it.

Triathlon is drowning in chocolate milk, and it’s gone too far. This unchecked aggression will not stand, man. These rug pee-ers are funding the most aggressive and ridiculous marketing campaign since DeBeers convinced young men to spend a fourth of their annual income on an engagement ring. ChocoMilk has the wealth, obviously, and the resources to convince you to drink their brown piss, but I’ve had a really long day and I hate the fuckin’ Eagles. So, chocolate milk, are you ready to be fucked?!?!

Yesterday, I noticed that I followed 55 individuals who also follow the @GotChocoMilk account.  I threatened them with an #unfollow if they continued to follow chocolate milk.  I can decrease the numbers slightly, but together we can knock them the fuck out.  How?  Be a champion and repeat what I did.   Make your followers choose between your followership and Chocolate Milk.  You’re either with us or you’re with the terrorists.

Your tweet could read like this: Friends don’t let friends follow chocolate milk. This time tomorrow, I will #unfollow anyone who follows @GotChocoMilk.  #UnfollowChocoMilk

No one in the triathlon media will cover this stunt, but I will reward you for your participation.  If you give your followers this ultimatum, you will earn an elusive follow from @therealstarky.  Just use the hashtag #UnfollowChocoMilk, and  I will find you and follow you.  If I already follow you, you will earn a get out of #unfollow free card.  Also, now through Friday, you can save 25% on The Real Starky Meshback Trucker hats by using the promo code CHOCOLATEMILKSUCKS.

Dress well enough to be called champion.


photo credit: raw chocolate milk via photopin (license)

About the Author

BH is Publisher of TRS Triathlon and host of TRS Radio.